John 12:26
“If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”
John 12:26 ESV
Matthew 11:27 ESV “All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” Jesus is our only gateway of coming to know God. It is through his life that we are able to understand what God's character is truly like and it is by following his example that we can come to know how God truly wants us to act. Without understanding how and why Jesus acted the way he did, out of love, we can never understand how God wants us to live this life. Personally I've found it very difficult throughout my time here to truly examine and ask myself if the way I've served has been a way in which the Lord would want me to serve. I honestly find it hard to determine whether or not my heart is in the right place and that I'm serving him and not myself throughout my daily walk. I mean I'm always attempting to serve in the best way that I can, but then I look at myself, I see my heart for the deceitful, corrupted organ that it is and allow myself at times to be rendered ineffective throughout the day because I find myself judging and looking down on myself for this horrid heart that is the center of my being. And that's where my problem is. I am so worried about my motives and myself that I'm failing to just keep my focus on God and no one else. Ultimately that's what Jesus did throughout his lifetime on Earth, he had his own thoughts and desires but he always put the will of his father first and thought about what his father wanted rather than what he wanted. We must serve in the same way he did, by setting our own wants and desires aside and allowing God’s wants and desires to become our wants and desires. I'd assume I'm not the only man on Earth who's had this struggle, but it has been so difficult to truly lay down everything for the Lord. Unfortunately I love Thalia. Not that that love is unfortunate because I wouldn't want to love any other person as I love her, but at times I still seek to please her over others, and I allow her to be my drive to serve instead of Christ. I am ridiculously hard on myself over this situation but honestly speaking I have been getting better with this and hopefully during my field time it will no longer be an issue in my life. However, I know that after Ignite if we get married that I can't allow my love for her to be my drive to serve, I have to allow Christ to be that drive. But I don't need to worry about such things because I know that God has brought us here for a reason and that he is going to continue to guide me through this. I have complete faith in him. Because of my faith, I am going to not share this IBS with anyone because I trust that he will guide me in the direction that he wants me to go, and that his voice is the only one that I need and it will be through his will that I will find wisdom, not through my own. And also because in my selfishness I really want to share this, but unless he tells me to I will not share it with anyone.
John 12:26 ESV
Matthew 11:27 ESV “All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” Jesus is our only gateway of coming to know God. It is through his life that we are able to understand what God's character is truly like and it is by following his example that we can come to know how God truly wants us to act. Without understanding how and why Jesus acted the way he did, out of love, we can never understand how God wants us to live this life. Personally I've found it very difficult throughout my time here to truly examine and ask myself if the way I've served has been a way in which the Lord would want me to serve. I honestly find it hard to determine whether or not my heart is in the right place and that I'm serving him and not myself throughout my daily walk. I mean I'm always attempting to serve in the best way that I can, but then I look at myself, I see my heart for the deceitful, corrupted organ that it is and allow myself at times to be rendered ineffective throughout the day because I find myself judging and looking down on myself for this horrid heart that is the center of my being. And that's where my problem is. I am so worried about my motives and myself that I'm failing to just keep my focus on God and no one else. Ultimately that's what Jesus did throughout his lifetime on Earth, he had his own thoughts and desires but he always put the will of his father first and thought about what his father wanted rather than what he wanted. We must serve in the same way he did, by setting our own wants and desires aside and allowing God’s wants and desires to become our wants and desires. I'd assume I'm not the only man on Earth who's had this struggle, but it has been so difficult to truly lay down everything for the Lord. Unfortunately I love Thalia. Not that that love is unfortunate because I wouldn't want to love any other person as I love her, but at times I still seek to please her over others, and I allow her to be my drive to serve instead of Christ. I am ridiculously hard on myself over this situation but honestly speaking I have been getting better with this and hopefully during my field time it will no longer be an issue in my life. However, I know that after Ignite if we get married that I can't allow my love for her to be my drive to serve, I have to allow Christ to be that drive. But I don't need to worry about such things because I know that God has brought us here for a reason and that he is going to continue to guide me through this. I have complete faith in him. Because of my faith, I am going to not share this IBS with anyone because I trust that he will guide me in the direction that he wants me to go, and that his voice is the only one that I need and it will be through his will that I will find wisdom, not through my own. And also because in my selfishness I really want to share this, but unless he tells me to I will not share it with anyone.
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